Thursday, October 06, 2005
Read your email the other night. Took me a while to figure out how to reply to you. At the back of my mind, I think you may not need/want me to reply at all. You may just want me to just read it and accept it. Am I right?You know, whenever someone writes to me via email to break any "unexpected" news instead of calling me or talking to me about it, I will expect some resistant if i attempt to address issues face to face. Since you have chosen to email me, then I will email you back. It has taken you some courage to write me this email, I think. And I figure out you may have thought thru the content of this email as well.Whatever issues you are facing, apart from yourself, do you have someone else to help you out? Or someone who will hear you out? My doors are always opened, you can always come to my place and talk to me if you are comfortable with it. Or you can email me like you are penning down your thoughts and feelings. I always check my emails. I hope you do have someone who can help you in this matter. It has been an issue in your heart for one year and one year is kind of a long time to bear a burden. I think we do go thru phases in our lives when we struggle with all kinds of things - finances, relationships of all kinds, families, careers, our past, present, future and so on. Sometimes we go thru them so that God can mold us, hold our hands and helped us thru. When we get out of any difficult situations, we come out a different person, more mature and in better control. And also we are able to help others who may go thru the same situation like we did. Choices we make also determines who we will be in the future. Sometimes we cannot make the right choice ourselves and so we need counsel. Even though I am a ministry leader, I also need to receive counsel to gain wisdom, assurance and encouragement.I have received heaps and heaps of counsel from different people over the years and I am still receiving them. You don't have to accept everything people say but you make good decisions from all the advice you get. Don't hide away, or stay away because you are going thru a hard time. God has not forsaken you and He always extends His help to you if you need it. Help in the form of counselling, accountability. You are walking thru a valley of darkness right now but you know you have to keep walking in order to get out of it, and not build a house there and stay there forever. You are, according to me, a very strong person with a strong character. Maybe you have been thru difficult times in the past that have made you what you are today. Strong in such as way that you can work well, do things well. But you always seem to have a heavy burden lingering somewhere in your heart. Can tell from the looks on your face, sometimes. You are also stubbornly strong. Stubborn can be good and can be not good if you do not handle it the right way. Good is when you have the determination to get something done yourself and you will because you have a strong will. But when you are in need, when you are weak, your stubbornness can make you so hardened that you refused any form of help because you think you can handle it yourself. God has given us some people in our lives to ease our pain and support us. He knows we are vulnerable, we get hurt and wounded by others and circumstances, so He gave help we need. Nothing is too hard for Him, too impossible for Him or too "ugly" for Him to accept you the way you are.You are an amazing person and one of the strongest and at the same thing the nicest person I have met. I pray that God will give you the strength and courage you need to help you out of the situation you are in. Sometimes you need a pair of hands to support you. I hope you will consider my advice about not going thru this alone. Take care!God BlessGot this email from one of my sister/leader/mentor today...as i was reading it...my tears flow uncontrollably... simply because all the she said is so true...I AM STUBBORN...i refuses help all the times....i dont want people to step into my life... i dont mind lending a helping hand but i always refuse to ask for help... not that i think i'm better than anyone else... i just dont know how to handle it when people treat me overly nice... i'm not used to being so naked in front of others.. i know that's what friends for...that's why most friend find me a bit funny...as our friendship grow...i'll then have the tendency to back-off.... its bad ...i know...or even simply because i always like to make early conclusion.. so when the person didnt turn out to be what i perceived...i'll get very very dissapointed.... i'm learning to not to pre-judge....anothing that amazed me was...i never thought that i've shown any sign of burden in me..that's why everyone always thought that i'm such a bubbly, cheerful gal...including myself...i'm amazed that this friend sees me thoroughly (she knows nothing bout what had happened)... but she point out something that no one has ever pointed out... Lord, that must be from u huh??continue to walk till i get out of the valley??? get people to walk along??? open up???i'd love to...give me a bit more time...just a bit more...
Searching @ 8:30 PM*
