+ : + : + : + : V i n t a g e INNOCenCe + : + : + :

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Friday, September 30, 2005

After all that has happened..
after going through it all with you...
all i left with you was such a bad impression..
'A person who's calculative in all sense..'
'A person that's unwilling to help..'
'A person who caomplaints all the time..'
A person whom you dont feel happy if you meet me coincidently..
A person who does not worth a bit of your sleeping time..
A person whom you cant be bothered of how i feel..
you might say or do certain things unintentionally...
you might not understand why i suddenly have such mood change...
you might be thinking to yourself...how scary is this woman... who can be sunshine at one moment & cloudy at another
you might be glad that you've let go of such a person...
you might even give thanks to the Lord... for leading you not to such scary path...

but do you know that... your unintentional words are so so sharp...
that really bring me to the very low self-esteem...
every moment of silence during the short 10mins walk is horrible...
your ignorance towards my sadness is so humiliating...
i really find myself like an idiot...
i swear to myself so many times that i'm going to move on...
i shall do nothing for you anymore...
but i couldnt help to remember what you like...
to do small little things hoping to brighten up your day...
i dont understand myself... i dont think we are still meant for each other... but s=just couldnt stop doing it..
i think you are quite annoyed at times... can tell ...eventhough you try to show appreciation...

but i guess today...its a true wake-up call...
cuz from your words...i realise that...
me to you... besides ended...it has ended badly...
i'm listed as one of the person that you wish you dont have to encountered in your life anymore..

when you told me you are so so happy to see your friends back...
how i wish you can show 10% of that happiness when you see me...

Dear Lord,
am i really that bad??
am i really that unworthy of being loved?
am i really that inconsiderate, selfish, stingy, calculative, small-hearted etc...
am i? am i? am i?

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