Monday, February 11, 2008
Let this be the last post to this blog...
let this blog be shut behind..
together with my past 4 years and all the memories..
let it all come to an end...
people often says i've got fish memories...
things would just slipped my mind in split seconds...
but unfortunately it doesnt happen in all cases...
some things...has just been deeply rooted in me..n has become part of me...
i wish... with the closing of this blog..
will also uproot all those memories...
n let them all buried in this cyber space...
a name that has been so important to me for the past 10 years...
let me not have anymore encountenance with him..
may every trace of him... every image n shadow of him be wiped off my life..n memories...
i dont understand y... his msia mobile n house number...
numbers that i havent been calling for the past 6 years...
yet it wouldnt leave my brain...
for the last time i type them out here...
o126672216
80241720
80241739...may these digits be gone from my heart...
his personal info...soemthing that will not be of my business anymore...
800316145579
liverpoolfc
jln usj 18/1 ... besides nightmares...they r nothing to me...
may they be gone from my head..my life...my soul...
why should i remember them??
why am i still remembering them??
dear lord... i'd trade anything just to wipe all these out of my life...
they r weighing me down...mentally...emotionally...
when i nearly got into the car accident that day..
i was traumatised at first...
then later on.. when my car gets back on the road..
i was just thinking...
maybe..the lord heard my prayer...
i know its more than a dozen times that i prayed...
if i could just lost my memories...
to gain a fresh start in life..
be it from sickness or accident...
anything that can induce the memory lost..
i'll take it...
i know its so wrong to wanting to harm onself...
but i cant think of a better way...
i dont know how to get rid of that image that has been haunting me day and night...
i want to run...yet deep down in my soul...
i cant bare the thought of not being able to see him again..
i know that's the reason why... why my feet are not lifted yet...
i'm dragging my time...
i tell myself... a little more...just give me a little more time to take a look at him..
just once more...
n it doesnt seems to end...
he is so so far from me...
after so many years... this time... the first time i know...
he's gone...really gone...totally..
hence...no matter how unwilling i am...
i have to let go...
do i have a choice? no i dont... Lord u clearly tells me that..
as i officially close this blog...
i lay him by ur sight Lord...
for the last time... i ask father...
please bless and protect him Lord...
for his health..his career...his well-being...his family...
father...i ask that u'll have ur mighty hands over him always...
i pray that he'll always be surrounded by love, joy and peace...
and u'll always have ur favour upon him...
that he'll excel in all areas and ur light will shine through him...
i lift Jack up unto ur hand lord...
i surrender every single bit of memory i have of him to u lord...
may u take care of him...till the day he joins u in heaven...
n from now on...jack chia... will be a nobody to me...
not more than a churchmate...not less than a stranger...
i break the soul tie in ur name n presence lord..
and this blog n the memories for the past 4 years...
is now officially close in the Lord's mighty name.
may every prayer be sealed in your name.
Amen.
Searching @ 6:30 PM*
