Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Number # Seven & the Multiple of Seven
I cant sleep last night…
My mind just wander into the wilderness …
Flash back jumps from one scene to another…
Then I recalled the game played at youth last Friday…
7-UP
Then I realise.. I don’t like the number 7 & its multiply…
Cuz every 7th in my life signify the turning point…
Whether I like it or not…
Age of 7 – When you finally get disciplined and started attending a school with uniforms… school rules…tones of homework… and starting to grow up
Age of 14 – Met my first boyfriend… yet the relationship ended the same year…
Age of 17 – Met the one who’ll since then sink deeply into my heart n life… n this will not changed forever…
Age of 21 – Leaving home n family for the first time… step onto the foreign land with the man that I thought of spending my lifetime with… and with left in the Seventh month… 8th JULY 2007
I ended my relationship with him after being together for 7 years… at the age of 24 … I made the worst decision ever in my life… bringing me to a bottomless pit… where I still don’t see the end till this day… and it was ended in the month of July… my world has never be the same since then… I began to live in darkness and lost my direction… I began to lost the ability to justify the right from the wrong … but though everything change… to this day.. I realise my love for him has not changed… just… can no longer express it….it will be a secret between my heart n my soul… For times… I thought we’ll get back together…before things happened and we parted again…
At His 27th birthday… I said farewell to my prince… I regretted everything that I did… but I know I cant turn back time… I know I serve no right to stop him from living a better life… it’s been 7 months now (from 16th March to 16th Oct) since we last talked … I still remember the last night we met ..that I waited almost 2 hours for you to go home…to say happy birthday n goodbye… for the last time I hear your voice…see your smile and feel your breathe… for the last time… and this year…I’m 27 too…
7th of May 2007 … I found out that you are now committed to a new relationship… you have given your heart n love to another girl… for the last time… I sent you an sms to congratulate … you replied : “Thanks” …from then I see road with no end… yet… I don’t know where is it leading me to…
My 27th birthday is coming in a month time… I’m not looking forward to it …not at all… because … I don’t dare to think this might be my last birthday in perth… I don’t know where will I be at my next birthday… is this the last year that I can see you before we part forever?? I don’t know… I hope this year will not end… though u r no longer mine… but I can still seek u with my heart … when I’m scared or lost.. knowing u r at the same place…I’ll have the strength to keep walking…
Year 2008 – marking my 7th years in Perth… also marking my 28 years of life… but I’m leaving … not intentionally… but I plan to leave mid-year… to leave a place that I’d love to call home after 7 years…to close the page of the most painful yet heartfelt story in my life.. to leave you that I known for 14 years… to leave a place where your family will be built..
I hate 7… I really hate it ….
Searching @ 4:21 PM*
