i've been having weird dreams. and guess what? i've been missing him i have! and i don't want to. what's the point of missing him? hmmm... i replied: Missing him...missing him... I'm sorry but I can only listen... No one can help u but urself n God...
No point of missing someone who doesn't miss u anymore... No point of missing someone who has turned their head away... No point of missing someone who has moved on... Say is easier than done ya... Sometimes... something ... can only be buried deep down in ur heart in ur memory... Time will heal... N u'll move on ...
I'm telling u this... N to myself too... then followed: i find that the harder i try not to miss him, the harder i try not to think about him the more i do. time will heal? how much time? its already been 4 years, coming on 5 years that i've been trying to forget him 4/5 years where i swing between thinking that it'll never work, and trying to make it work. 45 years of missing him and trying to forget him. how long more? In another friend's blog: "Million times I’ve told myself to just let it go and move on. Million times I tried, million times I failed. ~~~"
i feel the pain for my beloved friends... as much as the pain i have inside me... but i cant help them at all.. i cant even open my mouth to tell them... 'its going to be ok... it will be fine..' bearing the sharp pain in me... just like her... i still miss him from the deepest of my heart after 3 years... just like her... i told myself a thousand times... i'm gonna let go n move on... but i failed a millions then... loosing the one that is so so special to us... the one that means nothing to others but a world to us.. the one who share our joy n tears.. the one who knows us inside out.. from a blink of eyes to a wave of hand... the one who accept our shortcomings n tolerate our short temper.. the one who laugh at your lamest joke and listen to ur smallest problem... the one .. the only one.. the special ones...
and now... seeing her declaring her love.. her new relationship to the world... my heart shattered... my world darken... but yet...there's nothing i can do ...
i selfishly think... how can he abandon me just like that... how can he leaves me just like that... why gives me all the false hope n made me feeling special just before leaving me... but i'm always reminded that... i was the one that first left him... i was the one who crushed his world n how can i blame him for building a new one now... then again God reminded me.. everything that happened is a consequence on choices we made... and we need to be accountable to choices we made... be it good or bad... be it suffer or regrets.. be it by will or by force... we'll just need to pick up the fruits from the seed we planted earlier..
i almost want to run... to a place where only God knows where it is... where no pain no hurt no tears n no nightmares..
but at the same time... i want to stay... for those who love me n i love them deeply ... and even for the special one... thought we are now a world apart... but the greatest blessings i can give him... is to live a better life... even without him... especially without him...
i dont know how to achieve that... i dont know if i can ever achieve that... n i dont know when would i achieve that...
but i'm just gonna keep trying... keep believing that time will heal... time... just give us a bit more time... we might take longer than everyone else... but do trust in us... we'll walk out of it eventually... God knows when... and He'll lead us there...
for now... just dont touch our bleeding wounds... leave us alone.. let God deal with us... You'll soon see us shining brighter than ever...
Searching @ 3:00 PM*
Profile
For those who doesnt know me will stay far from me. For those who loves me will always hurt by me. -Profile here-
