Friday, March 30, 2007
Your personality is Melancholy Phlegmatic40% Melancholy Strength:9 Weakness:7
33% Phlegmatic Strength:6 Weakness:7
20% Sanguine Strength:3 Weakness:5
8% Choleric Strength:2 Weakness:1 You may want to review the
definitionsThank you for taking the personality test. Pass the link on to your friends so you can learn about their personalities.
http://oneishy.com/personality
Searching @ 10:42 AM*
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
i really want to blog of something ...to write something .. to release some thoughts n some feelingsand i want something different...rather that surrounding the same old issues again n againok randomly again...i have not been attending the dance class...lost the passion...how lousy am i...wasted my money too..been up to jogging... not that i'm doing it everydaybut more than the past 6 years in perthn i started liking itespecially after that daythough i know its very wrongbut i thought God just want to let us meet unexpectedlyyes yes its a liebut regardless whati started enjoying the quiet momentbetween the river, my ipod, God and mestarted to get a bit of work guess its because quarter end is nearingbut no matter whatits so much better than sitting down doing nothing for 8 hours a daywill hang on a bit moremy house is falling apartshower tap leakingtoilet leakingcupboard's door falling offtrace of termitesrecticulation for backyard not workingoh no!!! my house... ...venus have not been eating muchi think she eats like once evert 2-3 days...now that i realise she's very skinnymaybe i should think of some strategy..to get her eating moreor maybe it's all jay's fault...non-stop eatingno matter what... i love em' allmy skin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh no... my skin is so so so badfor no reason... almost my whole face is covered by breakouts!!i dont know whywhere has gone wrong?i sleep early n drink lots of waterGod help me....i got rid of most of the breakouts during year end...n they are backmy skin just doesnt like perth at all!!!my hair ~~~i hairstyle is a bit out not...not as curly / wavy anymore...i started to get a bit bored now n then to keep up the curvesand i missed the smooth feelings when i brush my fingers through my hairnow its always hard with the styling product on itso i left it undone the other nightlook... mmm... funnyneither straight nor curvy...just ... messy....my joeyis it still mine??mmm.... i shall ask her one daycuz its been so so lon since we last talkedn finally saw something on her blog todayknowing she's doing well n going strong in the Lordi'm so glad n proud of heri truely believe she was sent back for a reasonshe wouldnt have gone so far, grown so much n get so close with god if she had stayed hereeverything is for a reason, n God definitely has a plan to prosper us not to harm usJoey can definitely testify this verse...i know her dad will be healed in due timenot our time but our Lord's timingwe shall wait according to His planmy group of beloved friendswe have quiet down a bit latelynot as much gathering n eatingbut i still love them lotsthey have never fail to give me the comfort and support that i needthey have never fail to be there for me and for each otherthey accept me and assured me that i can rely on them anytimei love em'my carhe said my tyres are making loud funny noiseand i think the dent at the bumper is so annoyingits time for servicing again i just paid for my regothe petrol prices are shooting highin short...u really need money to maintain a carbut now... what my car need the most is a good wash...my lifesimple.. routinenothing fancy .. nothing excitingnothing stressfulnothing threateningmy lovefor god = i'm trying to get as close to Him as i canfor ministries - i love the O² Youth; and trying to commit to my YA cell, its gonna re-shuffle next week, i dont feel good bout it; events, helping as much as i'm asked tofor people - loving those who loves me, trying at least not to hate those whom i hated deeply; and trying to be neutral to those who has generally done nothing wrong against mefor friends - i want to love them as much as i can, a very popular saying, live your life as if you'll never live tomorrow.. i want to love and appreciate them this wayfor family - i've done little, i want to do more, i want them to walk into the kingdom of God with me, Lord, please direct mefor a man - till he comes into my life, i want to make him the happiest n most loved man, i want to do it for himfor my dogs - more walks, more treats, more baths, more of my timefor myself - to stay happy and contented.
Searching @ 5:00 PM*
i dont want to miss you ... but i canti dont want to think of you... but i canti dont want to see you ... but you are everywherei dont want to hear of you ... but you are too populari dont want toget near you .. but you are all aroundi dont want to remember you ... but you are 1/3 of my lifei dont want to love you ... but i dont know how....
Searching @ 4:32 PM*
Friday, March 16, 2007
16th March 2006Happy Birthday!!!its the 10th birthday since you walked into my life...everything has chnaged....and we've changed too...thank you for loving me all those yearsthank you for taking care of me for the past 10 yearsthank you for bringing me laughter n wiping my tears...thank you for being there for all my ups n downsthank you for everything that you've donethank you for making my life full n colourfulthank you for forgiving despite of all that i have donethank you for being who you are from the beginning till the endand i thank God for letting me crossing path with such a wonderful mani pray for the best in your life for the years to come...that the Lord will shower you with all his blessings and prosper u in all waysmay u always be surrounded by love and hopeand by people who will support u n lift you up when u r lowi pray for good health n protection that u may live your life to the fullnessi pray that you continue to shine as his faithful princei pray for joy, peace n strength to overcome every circumstancesi uphold you unto the lord's loving handtake he'll be with you n take care of you always n forever...Goodbye - when i'm expecting to see you againFarewell - when i know chances of meeting you is slim n thinafter 14 years of frienshipwith 10 years of loveits time ... farewell my beloved... for i'll be absence in your, heart and birthdays for the many years to comefor i'll set both of us free from this bondage...i miss you n i love youfarewell ... my prince, my best friend and my hero
Searching @ 3:30 PM*
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Random... roaming all over the placeWeather is burning hot ... 42c...feel like melting everytime i walk outdoor...thank god i can still sleep each night...my first dancing class in life - hip hopi love dancing since young...touch on alot... from ballet to hip hop to disco...but none of them were formally learnt...n they were left behind for years... cant remember when was the last time i move my body...finally i pick it up again...with joanne we joined a group of youngster...OMG!!! my hands n legs cannot coordinate!!!OMG!!OMG!! i'm not following the rythm.. dropping off beat...and it was only the introduction !! gonna be more intense for the weeks to come...OK!! I"M NOT GIVING UP!!! practise...practise...practise...i'm literally dragging my feet to work everyday...i'm drained by the long hours of boredom...i'm depressed of the zero workload...i'm tired of trying to look busy...i'm tempted to just resign n look for another job..uwa...so what???i was drowned under my emotions yesterday looking at CL...i doubt... i wonder... i'm all worried...i left the community without warning..and i came back without seeking permission...i ramped into the group just like that...without knowing if they want me to be part of the groupsince them my troubles n burdens became part of theirs...they worried n concern bout me...and it seems like... i spoilt the usual balance that they always have..i broke the even numbers n now it became odd...CL seems to be stress of my presence at times... as if i'm threatening her position in him... am i wrong to go back to the group?my heart sink ... cuz i really love them alot.. sent you 2 sms-es but no reply..busy... or just unnecessaryleft early from eulynn's house to join them for golf as such.. also dont feel like staying where i dont click with more than half of the group..who knows...eulynn asked me:"where are you going? alfred ah?"i can never be out of it?? can i??eulynn... i'm not...not anymore... i'm not....n you...please dont think the same way... i'm not..i need u all to trust me before i can sustain...i need u all to tell me i can get out so that i can really do it...trust me please...i want my own house...i really want... how how how...TL started calling me very often...weird...and the fact is he's calling from msia...something just doesnt feel right...i hope its just me thinking too much...i want to keep a friend... but when i dont know how to handle n say no...i'll run... i hope this will not happen...i treasure u... just like i treasure benson.... lets be friend..i think i should keep a distance from you...since i'm causing unnecessary stress upon her..eventhough i know there's nothing between you me n her...but..i dont know what else to do to ease her tension...i treasure u both a lot... please be well...time is flying so quickly...so so so quickly...its march already...i need to do something...gotta do something..before i turn 40 without knowing it!!!its your birthday next week...i know you are not going to celebrate with me...i dont know what present to get you...
Searching @ 4:12 PM*
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
She said you walked out of the room in less than 5 mins after I left
You replied me saying :”I’m fine thanks”
She asked me what happened on Sunday that caused her to be like that
I totally blur…what happened ?? I asked myself again and again??
I really don’t know…
Besides me being almost ½ hour late
I don’t know what have I done ….
I hope is not my presence causes you stress
Honestly … looking at you both… I feel for you both…
But I am so sorry
I can do nothing to help…
Neither to you or to him…
I know your heart…
A woman’s heart
A heart filled with love, hope, expectation and anxiety…
Want to be patient yet want to know what is he thinking…
Want him to be yours yet don’t dare to be too aggressive…
Want to be yourself yet want to be the one he wants…
At times he seems to be treating you special
At other times he seems to treat others better than you
At times you thought you have a special position in his heart
At times you realise you are totally out of his mind
At times what others say make you thought something is going to happen
As times passes by, you are filled with disappointment again and again..
You thought you know him well enough to know his heart
But he never gives you the confirmation that you’ve been waiting for
You thought being as close to him as possible can make yourself the one as well
Then you realise there’s many others standing at the same level…
Your emotions fluctuate according to his responses…
Your heart beats according to his expression
Your world starts to revolve around him and him only
Trust me when I say I know all these… I really do…
I feel so much for you.. for your pain..your heartache…your tears..
But I’m so so so sorry
I cant do anything to help you
I can only be there for you but I can make things better for you
Because
I know his heart as well
Because he pours his heart out to me
He told me his past, his pain, his dreams, his emotions and his plans…
He told me you’re not the one for him
He told me his burden and stress that he doesn’t normally show
He told me he’s worried if he turns you down…how would you react… knowing you and being you..
He appreciate all your good attribute and believing you are one of the sweetest person he’s ever met
Just not for him
And the moment is just wrong..
He’s simply deeply wounded… he needs the time to recover
He needs to build himself up again…
He needs to clear his head and find his direction again…
He needs to face the past and walk through it…
So whoever that cross path with him now
He just cant afford the time, energy and effort to nurture another relationship
The past storm has totally shattered his dream
The timing is just wrong… he needs simplicity now
So simple that he doesn’t need to think and there’s no weight to come with it
For the burden on his shoulder is simply too heavy…
And like you… he didn’t get anyone to share the load…
So as a friend.. I cant enlighten him… so I try not to add more load on him…
I pray that the lord will take care of you both
That he’ll carry you through this period of hardship
That he’ll grant you peace, hope, faith and love
My dear friends… be strong and courages k…
You can always fall safely on the Lord and I’m willing to be the cushion to back you up
Whenever you needed someone to …
love you both… lots n lots
Searching @ 4:35 PM*
Monday, March 05, 2007
很多人養狗，是因為寂寞。可是養了狗之後，有時卻會更寂寞。也就是說，如果是因寂寞而養狗，那麼你便會習慣與狗溝通。漸漸地，你反而不習慣跟人溝通了。
Searching @ 1:19 PM*
Daddy says:Forgiveness is not for people who deserve it.If they deserve something, then it is punishment. No, forgiveness means that you extend grace.Grace means undeserved favour, like how God extends undeserved favour to you. If you choose to hold on to bitterness, no one suffers but you. You lose your peace, health and sometimes even your life. It is not worth it! God says to you, “Let go. Forgive them their debts, just as I have forgiven you yours.” Don’t try to do it on your own. Bring the cross of Christ into the situation and you will find the grace to forgive!
Searching @ 11:50 AM*
Friday, March 02, 2007
My CNY 2007 Dinner ~~~Steambot
Searching @ 11:07 AM*
Thursday, March 01, 2007
sigh...i wonder what's wrong with me...but i do want to believe its all because of PMS....JOey!!! i can so relate to you !!!!you know what i did...i took an hour drive by myself after ZLM last night...n couldnt stop crying during the drive...dont ask me why or what happen...i wish i know...tears just flow uncontrollably...but did feel much better after that...release tension as i told u... but i'm abit shocked...cuz i know...eventhough say pms... something has to trigger it... something has to be in store before it can be released..so dear gal...i think i'm really not the one to tell you what to do...cuz it seems that i'm not handling myself well either... oh well... maybe... maybe becauz i havent seen u for a while...now that u r back... n memories just flooded my mind n my heart...n i see u treating me lesser than ..... got all sadden by that tooseeing u so near yet feeling so far... my heart just sink...maybe guilt n regrets once again conquer my thoughts that i nearly suffocate...maybe the reality its even clearer when i see u causes this sharp pain in me...maybe .. the fact that u know my little action so well sadden me again...maybe...its all maybe... but i miss u... i know this... maybe... maybe because the uncertainty in me its just overwhelming...overtaking my rationality...uncertainty bout my future... my job...my life...making me feeling like walking in darkness...i know there's road under my feet...but yet i dont know where am i walking to... i take every step with trembling fear... yet i know i can stay put... i cant stop...because i need to get out of the darkness...maybe because of the song..."through it all"its always this song when things happen...its always this song that reminds me bout Godits always this song that reminds me bout painits always this song that brings me tears...Maybe because of all the faces...they brought me memories...they expose my woundthey reminded me my pastthey reminded me all the things that i try to forget... tried so so hard...maybe because i have not actually walk out..i simply pressing it down all these whilei simply hidding them at the deepest not willing for others to knowi simply sweeping them under the carpet not wanting to remember iti simply ignoring it not wanting to deal with iti simply refusing help as i'm judging myselfi simply .... feeling all alone at times...i simply on the run...again ..again...and again...maybe because i'm very stress and depress at workits the extreme opposite side of stress from heavy workload...i have not done anything for the past one month...everyone tells me i'm having the best job on earthgetting pay to sit around, surf the net and do nothing...but that's not what i want...i understand the situation...but cant help to feel so useless and meaningless...cant help to doubt my capability and trustworthy...cant help but to feel depress when everyone tell me...u r very free right...i dont even bother to email others at work...firstly because they r at work...secondly i dont even have the desire to email them...i want to do some solid work..stop asking me how's work..i got nothing to tell... cuz i've got minimal work...dont know who to tell cuz i dont want to complain...i know its a blessing to get this job...so i dont want to complain...dont want to discougae others n myself further....but the thought of resigning is lingering in my mind...the 'maybe' will never end...cuz i'm a woman...anything can trigger my emotions especially during my pms period...but at least one thing that i am thankful...i did not do anything stupid or extra or unnecessary last night...at least... i did not cause troubles to others...at least ... its over now...thanks daddy...
Searching @ 5:02 PM*
