Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Welcome Back....welcome back from your long holidays...i'm sure you had a good time spending with family and friends...havent have a chance to see you since you are backyou seems busy to catching with work and ministries...and even... people..obviously i'm not in the list...the list of:things to do, ministry to settle, meetings to attend, people to meetno longer in your top 3 priority list ya...mmmmmm...actually i know i'm out of the list long long time ago... being me...i do still have some unrealistic dreams at times..from a simple sms, from a genuine phone call..i'd sometimes tell myself...you are thinking of me at that moment...maybe... there's some maybe in it...but as time passes by...it appears to me clearer everytime...that ... its just a very genuine "hello"no any other hidden meaning ... no special reasons either...you might have done the same thing to a dozen or more people...you might be doing it out of a gentle heart... whatever it is... you are doing it not because its me... but because its YOu...i pray for the best for youi pray for enlarged territory in this whole new year for youi pray for favour in job and in all areas in lifei pray for growth in the Lord and you'll always have Him in your hearti pray for health upon u n all your love onesi pray for protection whenever n wherever you arei pray for financial blessings that you can be a blessing to your family tooi pray for joy, peace and love to be deeply rooted in your heart all the timelastly... i pray for the one for you... would take care of you, love you and be there for you no matter what happen...i pray for the Lord's angel to be with you, to help you, guard you, guide and and uphold you always...though you are near in distance...though you are a phone call away..though you are 10 mins drive awaythough you can stand right in front of me...but you are furthest to me now...as i can never reach your heart again...what i want to say...i miss you... a bit more now..
Searching @ 2:32 PM*
All of a suddenYou asked me:"Can i trust You?"i silent for a moment... not knowing what to say...but i want to tell you that you can trust me...cuz i'm not going to say a word...in actual fact... we dont know each other very well..but somehow... i feel that there's lots of similarity in us...at least.. i feel that we can understand each other's language...a language that's beyond normal speech...and we can feel for each other's pain...dont know if its because of the similar past.. reserve personality or character...but i know we can relate to each other... in a way or another... i ask the Lord to preserve this friendship... nothing fancy or loud...but a friend that worth treasuring.. that can be trusted... that worth knowing and keeping..and i thank God for your trust...when you started pouring out your thoughts ...when you tell me what's in your heart...when you tell me i'm the first person that you had ever tell about the issue...not feeling proud ... but touched... because u see me as a friend... and i thank God for you....for when you whisper to me...its going to be ok... i feel the strength that flows into my soul...and that's when i know you are another angel that God has sent to pull me through this period of struggle...I pray n uplift all your burdens unto our daddy in heaven...May He take care of you and bring healing upon ur tired and wounded heart...May He gives you strength and peace..May He surround you with love and gives you the confidence to love again...May He shine His light upon you and direct you the desired path..May He be with you and continue to bless you for you have been such a blessings to many...May He comfort your angry soul and soften your heart..May He be with you...May He fill your life with joy and health... take care of you and your family always... like i said... if i have to choose ... i'll choose to keep a friend...so Father i ask that you guard my heart ...as i truly treasure this friend from my heart...
Searching @ 2:01 PM*
Friday, February 23, 2007
1980 ~ 2007what does the figure above mean?it means i'll be 27 this year.. late twenties...sound so scary...thinking back what have i achieved the past 26 years... almost nothing... besides obtaining a degree... completed my CPA...and i dont even think they are called achievements...sigh.. Godi'm such a rebellious kid..do whatever i want and always taking daddy for grantedkeep drifting away from himlosing my passion and my first lovebut i'm really greatful to have him with me all the timeregardless of the number of times that i've failed himi want to feel him..love lifepeople of my batch are getting attached, married...even giving birth...honestly i do worry at times..but i know i'll leave it to god...if i meant to be single... i'll try to enjoy single lifestyle then...though there are times that i too need care n love...but i too am scared... will someone even love me knowing my past?and this part of me... just keep reminding me of the great wrong that i've done... maybe i deserve to be alone.. but oh well... at least daddy is with me...possession...my dogs n my car my job..my little treasure... guess i'm really not ambitious enough... i'm quite happy with the little that i have though at times will want my own dream home..but with my spending and saving pattern... mmm dream..it is a dream..friendshonestly i have a lottoo many to keep track about...i'm not proud of it... in fact quite guilty...cuz my fingers r more than enough to count...how many of them that i really put much effort in maintaining the relationshipbut i'm thankful that i'm never lacking of friends aound me..being it a huge group or a couples of them..they are all gifts from daddyfamilyi do think i'm rather cold-blooded at times...being away from home all these years...i'm hardly homesick..looking at my parents at their old age...i still cant make up my mind to go back and be with them...sigh.. such a failure in this areadeamsi have all kind of dreamsn i day dream a lotbut as time passes bythey seems to slowly fading a waybut nowi want to catch some of themeven just 10% of itat least i trythat's why i'm doing the dancemaybe i can still sustain more than a few movesi want to try..at least give it a trysigh..27 is so so scary...i feel sooooooooooooooooooold
Searching @ 2:59 PM*
Doing my reading this morning...titled "Guard Your Heart"its about having the right mind, right attitude and right focusits about so long as we have God in our heart... every other things will seems so much smaller...its about helping ourselves to let God help us...its about...God n Usour daddy truly knows whats in our heart n what are we going through..n he makes sure u know he knows n he cares...life has been rather peaceful lately...everything seems to have come to an end...i'm not sure whether its the stillness before another stormor truly peace have fallen upon our life...i should be glad... i should be relax... i should be lighten... i should i should i should...but i am not..or at least...not wholly...dont know since when...there seems to be a hole in my heart...deep in my spirit...where can never be filled...where i constantly feeling empty and lonely be it alone or in a crowd...where the emptiness brings anxiety n fear...fear of uncertainty... of future..of life and of people...u would say... only god can fill this part of me... i tried... but i'm still constantly overwhelmed by the hollow feelings...sometimes i thought maybe friends will do the trick...and i did enjoy their presence, care and all the laughter they brought upon my life...but that wouldnt last... not long enough to last me through the night, the week..the months..my mood fluctuate tremendously ... n there's no reasons to be traced...and i dont like this... so i thought... maybe i'm being too greedy...not contented of what i have and who i am... so i tuned down further... constantly examining myself n reflecting my life..again... it wouldnt help.........mental blocked...
Searching @ 2:40 PM*
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Guard Your HeartJohn 14:2727Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.The night before He died, Jesus gave His peace to His disciples — “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you…” This peace is not just for His disciples, but also for us. Today, we have His peace.
The moment you believe in Jesus Christ, He who is the Prince of Peace comes to live inside you. And when the Prince of Peace resides in you, every blessing that you will ever need pertaining to your soundness and wholeness is already inside you.
“Pastor Prince, if this is true, then why do I still see problems in my health, finances, family and relationships?”
The answer is a troubled heart. That is why after Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you…” He said, “… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
A troubled and fearful heart works like fingers that clamp down hard on a water hose. The supply of water is flowing from the tap, but little or nothing is coming out at the other end of the hose. God’s ever-present supply of blessings towards you is like the water flowing freely from the tap. But you don’t see the blessings when you allow your heart to be gripped by worry or fear.
So when fearful, anxious thoughts come, remind yourself of Jesus’ words: “… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Even when things appear to get worse, say, “Lord, I refuse to worry about this. In the midst of all this I see the finished work of Christ. He said, ‘It is finished!’ So, my debts are finished. My child is healed. My house is sold. I will let not my heart be troubled by these things.”
Beloved, I cannot “let not” for you. Your family and friends cannot “let not” for you. Only you can “let not your heart be troubled”. So guard your heart from being troubled. You don’t have to guard your career, reputation, children or even health. When you guard your heart, God will guard everything else for you!
Who knows me but you oh Lord
Who knows my heart but you oh Lord
Who will care but you oh Lord
Who loves me more than you oh Lord
Who can I turn to but you oh Lord
Who can I trust but you oh Lord
Who can I depend on but you oh Lord
Who can I cry on but you oh Lord
What would I be without you oh Lord
Searching @ 9:19 PM*
Monday, February 12, 2007
i miss youi think i really doyour every sms-es delighted metelling me that i was in your thought at those short momentsso many things happened since you lefti can barely handle them anymorecome backi really really miss you lots
Searching @ 1:00 PM*
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
| You Are a Cappuccino |
 You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please |
What Kind of Coffee Are You?
Searching @ 10:57 PM*
I don’t know how to handle
I am so used to handling issues, burdens and stress by myself
I am so used to cry under the blanket and hide from all others
This time
Having all of you around
Stretching out all your hands to me
I feel lost
For you all to keep pampering and protecting me
I am becoming dependent on you
I am becoming weak
I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad
I only know I don’t know how to handle
Don’t know how to handle love and care from others
I am panic when I have to cry in front of you all
I am nervous when you gave me the attention
I am simply not good at pouring out feelings
But I thank god for all of you
Thank you for taking me to the beach when you know I am not well
Thank you for driving me around till you are sure that I will be alright
Thank you for answering my call middle of the night when I needed help
Thank you for turning up the volume when the mobile rings
Thank you for increasing the volume when I was trying to hide my tears
Thank you for accompanying me to get a new mobile number
Thank you for listening to all my long shameful past
Thank you for offering to let me punch and bite at my breaking point
Thank you for slotting in small note of encouragement during the conversation
Thank you all for being my angels my light my friend at this time of darkness
Thank you for accepting me despite of my past my sin and my mistakes
I cant do it without you all around
I love all of you
A lot a lot
Searching @ 4:00 PM*
Friday, February 02, 2007
Was taking a walk around UWA today
Thinking back my uni days
Sadly there isn’t that much to be remembered
Then I realised how much have I missed out
Once of the best time in life
Being a university student
Is when you have most freedom yet in the process of growing up
The best time for you to see to feel and to explore without much other burdens
Sadly I missed that best time in life
I barely have any friends in uni
I hardly stay in uni library to do my studies
I’ve never joined any social activities
I didn’t even attended any uni ball
I never hang around my classmates’ place to do projects
And I barely have lunch or coffee with any uni mates
Oh gosh how much have I missed out
What do I have besides studying?
Maybe that’s why God bring me back here
When I’m looking for a new start
He let me start from the very beginning
From the moment I limited my world to only Jack and studies
Now He is opening my eyes n my heart
Giving me a second chance to see
What have I missed out from the very beginning
Yes , I am no longer a student now
Yes , I have grown up and there is no turning back
But I hear the Lord is telling me
Freedom comes from the heart
Beauty is something that you see it with your heart and not your eyes
And this two things cant be changed even when time passed
Lord is teaching me the real meaning of
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
With God in it
It is heaven on earth
Searching @ 1:58 PM*
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Sinis something that willTake you further than you want to goKeep you longer than you want to stayCost you more than you want to pay
Searching @ 2:24 PM*
