Tuesday, November 28, 2006
^^^ Johnny^^^My first cell leader..The first and only person that i met and talked to when i went for Jack's baptism..My first step into the Zion community was attending his 21st B'day dinner...A man that played a very big part in my early christian walk...who told me a young christian can also be a strong christian...who told me i have the potential and made me a core member...who build my faith and my passion and inspire me to serve...A man that i was not very close with...in fact ... we hardly talk...hardly... hardly...but a man who sees with his heart...and easily sees my heart...and this totally caught me off surprise...Once Johnny dropped by my Walpole st residence...with a pack of dog treats... i know it was from jack... but johnny silently gave them to me..i teared when he left... not sure if its because i missed jack or what johnny did touches my heart...i desperately needed some love from friend then...and i thank God...johnny didnt leave me because of the wrong choice i made...Johnny told Joey...we are alike because we keep everything in our heart...when i heard that... i got a shock...like i said...we were never too close..we hang around because of jack... when that connection was broken... we were then far apart...but when i heard that... i felt the brotherly love..and i truely understand what it meant by love.. a pure love.. for people..for friend...26th Nov 2006Johnny left Perth...another zion's icon left... i feel so lost...he's one of the few that i'll search for whenever i walk into church...cuz he's simply significant.. now that he's gone...Again zion looks a bit different for me...my last chat with Johnny..i tried making it casual...i never expect tears cuz in my heart...i kept holding the thoughts that we were not close..i started the conversation with some jokes..then i prayed for him.. tears flow but wasnt bad..then Johnny told me:"stop hiding yourself from the crowd..dont always want to be alone..try to trust in love...there's really alot alot of people that love u deeply and care for u alot ..dont always try to bear all the burden by yourself..let people walk into your life and help you ...'dai goh lui la...guai la'..."and i started crying uncontrollably...i cant believe Johnny would tell me all these...my broken world.. my shattered heart.. my cheapest esteem... my lonely soul..my world seems to have a glimpse of light ..my dear brother then gave me a strong bear hug...and that hug tells me to persevere..that hug tells me bout love...that hug tells me to trust...that hug tells me to forgive..that hug tells me to soften my heart...that hug tells me to soften my ears..that hug tells me to be courages ...that hug tells me much much more than words can say...but i regret i never have a chance to tell him this..besides sobbing and nodding my head...i wanna tell you this:i will .. i will at least try and learn...i will give myself a chance to love n be loved...n..i really want to say ...THANK YOU..MY DEAR DEAR CELL LEADERYOU ARE STILL MY BEST CELL LEADER EVER
Searching @ 9:10 PM*
Friday, November 24, 2006
He Is Right There Upholding YouIsaiah 41:1010“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
It is easy to say, “Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!” when times are good. It is easy to believe that God loves you when you are on the mountain top enjoying the sunshine. But what happens when you are down in the dark valley surrounded by your enemies?
Maybe today, you are in the valley of marital, financial or bodily trouble, and you are asking, “Where is God?”
My friend, He is right there with you. The God of the valleys says to you, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
When King Jehoshaphat was surrounded, outnumbered and overwhelmed by his enemies, the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and he said to the king, “Don’t be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude for the battle is not yours, but God’s. You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you. Don’t fear or be dismayed. Tomorrow, go out against them for the Lord is with you.” (2 Chronicles 20:14–17)
What King Jehoshaphat did then was brilliant — he acted with wisdom from on high. Instead of putting “commandos” in front, he put worshippers in front! What did the worshippers sing? They sang of God’s love for them — “Praise the Lord for His love endures forever!” And God utterly destroyed their enemies! (2 Chronicles 20:21–23)
Beloved, it is not the trials that make us strong, but our responses in those trials. The devil wants us to respond by asking, “Where is God?” But God wants us to respond with faith in His love for us. We are more than conquerors not because of our love for Him, but through Him who loves us. (Romans 8:37)
So whatever valley you are in today, don’t be afraid. God is there with you strengthening and upholding you. Just sing of His love for you and let Him fight your battles for you!
Dear Lord,
Thank you for giving me the assurance even before things happen...
Thank you for preparing my heart n giving me comfort in the storm..
Father i know that life comes with storms n trials... but for u to always carry me through regardless of how many times have i failed u... i feel ashamed of myself and grateful of ur merciful n gracious heart...
father these few months indeed has given me a great lesson in life.. proving how small am i when storms come and how helpless am i when hit by the wave... without you holding my hand...how can i stand before u today to thank you for all the blessings...
Father, i'm far from perfect but i think i'm still the lucky one...cuz the storm brings our hands tightly held together... and i'm not gonna let go no matter what's to come...
Father.. i know i'm foolish and impulsive at times...many many times... i ask that u'll guide my act n words lord.. i dont want to hurt anyone anymore...
Father, i want to learn to appreciate things n people in life...help me to switch my focus to all the beautiful ones than dwelling in the hurtful thoughts...
Father.. u know me well n u know me inside out... u know what i want and what's the best for me.. i just want to commit my life to you on a daily basis ... i dont want to believe in my instinct n emotions anymore...cuz they will lie to me sometimes... but u'll never betray me... hold my hand daddy n lead me to the future where u lay ahead for me...
Amen...
i realise i pray alot lately...not because i'm becoming more holy...but its because i'm really relying on god alot... alot...i need him to press down my anger when i'm fury...to lead my way when i'm blinded...to calm my thoughts when i'm impulsive... to give me comfort when i'm scared...to show me light when i'm haunted by the past... to give me assurance when i'm lost... to bring me friends when i'm lonely.. to bring me joy when i'm sad.. to send me angels when i'm in danger...
i appreciate friends...but there's only so much that a friend can do... and there's just areas that a friend can never reach... but i'm thankful for all the people that the lord place in my life... i cant do without all these precious ones.. cant walk out of the past this quick if they did not lend me a hand.. i jsut love them alot alot...
Searching @ 12:48 PM*
Thursday, November 23, 2006
I dont have peace after posting up the last entry...there's just a strong prompting to delete it...so i did...i dont think its a coincidence...not for 3 times within 7 days...17/11/06 - O² Youth - Ray shared about Forgiveness - to forgive & forget...19/11/06 - Sunday Service -Richard preached about forgiveness - shared about a woman who forgave the murderer who killed her husband... The sermon wasnt that impactful... i was drawn to it because it is richard who's sharing it...22/11/06 - YA cell - Iggy teach about forgivenss - asking why should we forgive, why god wants us to forgive...To others, this may seems like another ordinary teaching... very textbook base...because we all know the bible says, we ought to forgive others because Christ has first forgiven us... There isnt a special insight to this topic... but i personally think that the Lord is really trying to remind me something...to not to forgive, i'm not holding others down.. but i'm chaining myself down...to not to forgive, i'm constantly reminding myself how i was being hurt...to not to forgive, i'm rejecting God's healing in my life...to not to forgive, i'm hurting not my enemy, but myself and those that love me...to not to forgive, i'm not trusting God's power to turn situation around... to not to forgive, i'm so blinded by the grudges that i have against others and not being able to see what the lord has place in my lifeto not to forgive, i'm holding so tightly to the past, and can grab hold of the beautiful things in life...to not to forgive, my life will always filled with black and white where no rainbow will show...Forgive and forget... Forgive and forget...Forgive and forget...
Searching @ 10:48 AM*
Monday, November 20, 2006
from him
with him
not sure if this is gonna be the my last bday with you..but thanks for taking time out to spend that short moment with me... these memories will be stored in my memory bank... today..n forever..
Searching @ 3:29 PM*
Black Tom's Oyster Bar
Searching @ 3:10 PM*
@ La Cascade
My Cell Geoup @ YA Combine
The Boys @ Terrazza
The Girls
La Cascade again
Searching @ 2:18 PM*
From ReN - handmade necklace
From MaViS & nIkKi - Heart pendant w a tiny butterfly next to it
From: mAvIs & DeReLl - a dozen of roses sent to office - my first time receiving delivered flowers...
From: Benedix, Evelyn, Ben Raja & Roy - a Jewelry Hanger... they chose the one that matches my fashion.. =>
From Alfred - to hang on the mobile..
These might seems to be some gifts to them..but they meant love n blessings to me...regardless of what they are...thank you guys...
Searching @ 1:53 PM*
My First B'day cake from Ben & Asscs
Roasted Lamd Rack @ La Cascase
Mango Sorbet..
Grilled Salmon
My 3rd cake from my cell members..
Summary of Food for my 26th bday...missed out some...but they are all yummy...
Searching @ 1:30 PM*
Friday, November 17, 2006
>>> Thanksgiving <<<Dear Lord,Indeed this year is almost coming to an end... Though there's so so much that has happened this year...More than i can bear or content..But i come before you father...I lay this one whole year before you Lord...I bow before your feet LordPlease forgive all my wrongdoingsPlease forgive me for giving into the evil's temptation..Please forgive me for turning away from you...Please forgive me for putting blame on you and showing anger on youPlease forgive me for all the criticism and misjudgements that i made...Please forgive me for all the grudges i hold against others..Please forgive me for causing pains into others life...Please forgive me for rejecting the ones who love me deeply...Please forgive me for the wrong words i spoke or the misconduct i carried out..Please forgive me for hiding my dark side from others and from you... though you know it allPlease forgive me for not responding to your call though you kept knocking on my door...Lord, indeed i've sinned much against you...I come before you broken and scattered...I ask that you will pick up these broken pieces...I ask that you can patch them up and re-use them..I ask that you will cleanse them and mould them...Lord i ask for your guidance in the days to come... That i'll not sin against you or others... That you will guide my words, thoughts and conduct...May they be pure and Christ-focused...May they glorify your name...Lord, i give thanks for all the blessings i received this year...Thank you for Angels who protected me safe and healthy throughout the year..Thank you for Mentors who directed me to the right direction...Thank you for companions when i am lonely...Thank you for Friends for pick me up when i fall...Thank you for friends who persevered even when i want to give up...Thank you for the welcome hands and smiles and i walk back into the church..Thank you for sms-es who lifted my spirit when i'm low...Thank you for walking with me when i thought i'm all alone on the journey...Thank you for carrying me in those toughest time...Thank you for accepting me for who i am and teaching me for who i should be...Thank you for also keeping my family safe and intact though they are yet to know you...Thank you for my job who pays me well and keep me financially secured...Thank you for this blessing lists cuz its never gonna end...Lord, indeed you the one that's most gracious to us...You lovingly sacrifice your son so that we can be united to you...and You never fail to wait at the door for us to come home...You give us free will to choose what we want.. even you have prepared the best for us...You are always there whenever we look over our shoulder..even after the many times that you hurt your heart...You let us walk on our own feet so that we can have a taste of freedom..and you always pick us up when we fall...Father, you are almighty and so high up...Yet you call all of us your sons and daughters...Though you are so holy and clean...but you wipe our tears and wash our feet... holding our hands leading us to where you want us to be..Lord...what more can i ask for??I complained a lot at times... And i may be greedy at times..but deep down i know...indeed i'm one of the most blessed few in the world... i might not have what everyone else has...but i have what's mine...and they are all precious to me...Let me not envy and look at what others possessed...But look at what you have given me...Father.. though the year has been hard...but i'm grateful that you walk through it with me.. Lord..May i continue to walk in faith with you for the year to come.. May i humble myself and continue to grow in you...May i hold nothing against anyone anymore..May i learn to love the way you love and see the vision of yours..Father... thanks for letting me call you my Dad..In Christ Holy name,Amen
Searching @ 2:13 PM*
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
pArKiNg fInEoh well...we are told that we have to thank God in all circumstances...be it good all bad...just thank God with all our heart...but i reckon i really need to learnt o praise n thank God even when situation turns bad...a lot to learn in this area...especially when there's a drastic change in the situation...can we still thank & praise God with the same attitude as we were at the good bright days...i drove to work today...parking downstairs...an hourly limit parking...so normally i'll run down evert hour to top up my parking ticket...today... i TOTALLY forgotten that my car is down stairs..my ticket expired at 10.40am...n i've only realise it at...1.30Pm!!!!so i decided to run down to check it out...on my way out..i ran pass alfred..told him i forgotten to pay for my parking...he said...oh..its ok..u didnt get a fine...cuz he just went down to check his car 10 mins ago...n my car was fine....Phew...in my heart...i thank God... i thank him for sparing me knowing i'm kinda broke...he help me to save that $50so i shouted in my heart :"THANK YOU LORD"then on my way down...i met another colleague...same thing but different outcome...she said she just saw the council officer on her way up...like 2 mins ago...i'm like...WHAT!?!?!running as quickly as i can to my car...........too late...a parking infringement notice lay nicely on my wind screen....there goes $50...i'm like...its just 2 mins different... the whole situation turned around.. so as my mood...now in my heart ... i still whisper:" thank you lord~~~~~"...in those ghostly type of voice....more on blaming than thanking...now that i'm sit down...i came to realise...that's humanity...only what the best for ourselves.... always want "best of luck"when things turn sour...we just refuse to think its our fault... start asking "why"oh well...its be who's being so careless...anyway..shouldnt affect my good mood for the day...i'm very sleepy... but in good mood =Pweather is hot... but the sun brightens my heart too...dont ask me why... i just feel like i'm standing on the rainbow...everything seems beautiful to me today...
Searching @ 2:00 PM*
Thursday, November 09, 2006
or.
just feel like posting some random pictures....lots of things running in my mind...cant really put them in words...
and i rather be silent for a while...spend some quiet moment with god..
i like photos... though i'm not photogenic...but at least i always look happy in pictures..
though i always got caught in some ugle candy shot....but there's always no tears in it...forms part of my memories..dont ask me why i choose these pictures or why...as i said..its randomly pick..
Searching @ 10:15 PM*
Monday, November 06, 2006
愿望？？每个人开始追问我要怎么庆祝。。想去那里庆祝。。我并不想扫你们的兴也感激你们的一番心思。。但我真的并不打算庆祝其实我只想有你陪我过这一天就这么一天就好可是。。 当天偏偏是星期三。。所以。。 那根本就是奢望。。明年的我。。 还会在这吗?而你。。将会一直缺席于我每一年的生日了吧。。没有你的生日。。对我来说。。 又有什么意义呢？？又有什么值得庆祝呢？？
Searching @ 8:35 PM*
Friday, November 03, 2006
Life With God Is Easy And LightMatthew 11:28 Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.It always warms my heart to know that Jesus sees the cares we carry in our hearts. He knows the worries you have for your family and for the future. He feels the heaviness in your heart as you struggle with the sickness in your body. He says to you, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Jesus wants to give you rest. And He says that the way you receive rest is to be yoked with Him, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:29–30)What does it mean to be yoked with Jesus? Imagine a pair of oxen yoked together. The younger ox sees what the lead ox does and follows it. If the lead ox turns left, the younger ox turns left. If the lead ox stops, the younger ox stops. When the lead ox starts moving again, the younger ox follows. Likewise, Jesus wants us to follow His leading and flow with Him.It is not hard to flow with Jesus because He will not lay anything heavy on you — “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30) When you are yoked with Him and you flow with Him, you will learn that there is nothing heavy-hearted, nothing ill-fitting, nothing burdensome from the Lord. When you flow with the Lord, you will find life easy and light!
You might say, “But Pastor Prince, God has given me this burden. And it is weighing heavily on my heart!”My friend, if the burden is heavy, it is not from God because Jesus said that His burden is light. The devil has probably given you the burden to crush you!“Oh, Pastor Prince, you are making light of how serious my burden is.”No, I am not making light of it. Jesus did say that His burden is light and His yoke, easy. So a life yoked with Him is trouble-free, anxiety-free and worry-free. My friend, flow with Him and His leading, and you will find rest for your soul, for the rest of your life! taken from www.newcreation.org.sg daily devotion... a very important reminder to myself..
Searching @ 9:48 AM*
from him
with him
not sure if this is gonna be the my last bday with you..but thanks for taking time out to spend that short moment with me... these memories will be stored in my memory bank... today..n forever..
Black Tom's Oyster Bar
@ La Cascade
My Cell Geoup @ YA Combine
The Boys @ Terrazza
The Girls
La Cascade again
From ReN - handmade necklace
From MaViS & nIkKi - Heart pendant w a tiny butterfly next to it
From: mAvIs & DeReLl - a dozen of roses sent to office - my first time receiving delivered flowers...
From: Benedix, Evelyn, Ben Raja & Roy - a Jewelry Hanger... they chose the one that matches my fashion.. =>
From Alfred - to hang on the mobile..
My First B'day cake from Ben & Asscs
Roasted Lamd Rack @ La Cascase
Mango Sorbet..
Grilled Salmon
My 3rd cake from my cell members..
just feel like posting some random pictures....
and i rather be silent for a while...
i like photos... though i'm not photogenic...
though i always got caught in some ugle candy shot....
