Tuesday, November 29, 2005
静~~~我好像好久没待在家了感觉上蛮过瘾的看连戏剧看到哭了好像也很久没有了最后的记忆，看到王喜死了，哭到半死“他”，居然夸张地打电话告诉慧珊。。记忆犹新。。头痛了三天三夜，今晚终于没事了可以睡个好觉了伪装。。。该结束了吧。。应该也乐得轻松吧。。无意间又听到她撒了一个谎她说得那么轻松却肯定而却熟炼。。。是习惯吧。。却令我齿寒。。我已经不屑去管任何有关她的事了如果这是她的生活方式如果这是她保护自己的方法如果她认为伪装弱者等如胜利那就随她咯。。。反正我们跟本是两条平衡线上的人永远都不会认同对方的做法我只愿我俩河水不犯井水让主来调教我俩吧。。。
Searching @ 5:52 AM*
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Time really Flies~~~~i cant believe it...was looking at the count down that i wrote in my previous post...20 days have already passed...i've finished my long awaited cpa exam...i'm now officially quarter of the century...Amazing 6race is over...just like that... just like that...long awaited...long prepared... n now...over...mmmm...feeling a bit lost thou...looking back...my exam...mmm...honestly...i cant really tell if i'm going to pass it...its easier than i expected...yet i tembak quite a bit...i was so restless in the exam hall that i just cant wait for it to over...so i was pretty impatient when one question was unsolve... i couldnt be bothered to try..just TEMBAK!!!my birthday...mmmm..=)i'd say its a surprise... in a way...all thanks to my cell leader -_-he announced it to the whole world...almost make it to a YA outing event...i was shocked when i saw the attendance when i arrived at Zebras..i knew we r going for dinneri knew my cell group will be there...i knew he will ask doreen n vero...thats all i know... but when i saw the number of people..i was...errmmm...too many lebut oh well...when i think of they r coming for doreen n iggy's bday...then it seems quite reasonable le..but i'm a bit sorry that ym was not there...i admit that i didnt ask her...taking for granted that iggy will do everything.. n no reason for him to forget my hmate..n also ivy's cell was there...who knows...mmmmm oh well.. i'm not that bias la...i also didnt call u la ...right VERO!??!but..its over...i feel that i'm lacking of something for this bday...but indeed...the Lord bless me with lots of love...i think the Lord knows that i'll be depressed during this day...thats y HE got my cell leader to announce to the whole world...that kept my occupied the whole day... i've never received so many smss...phone calls ..emails...before... =) till nancy was telling everyone...i've quited my position n become an operator... =Þthank you Lord...for angels again..Amazing 6race..finally came to pass..physically exhausted... but excited emotionally... again a bit loss when business is over...basically most parts went well..was very windy today..but the Lord kep the rain away from us!! Praise the Lord for that!!i really hope that everyone had fun today... that's all i want for this event...was a bit discourage but some people...A: how come this team can get more points at this station? i thought 20 is the max?worse still...start asking other committee.. "what's the full pts for this station?i was a bit angry... does that matter... is that all it meant to u ??did u not enjoy yourself? mmm...ya..sianz him...B: how come you all never tell us that we have to comeback by 1pm...we were told that we dont have to rush to come back...that's y we took our own sweet time...we went toilet...n we went here n there... n because u guys suddenly cut off by 1pm..so now we cant complete the stations......i'm like... who's not reasonable here... yap...its our mistake to not to warn u earlier that u have to be back by lunch... our fault to have to cut u off while u r at the middle of the game...but miss...u knew that lunch is provided...n u ASKED ME how long is the total thing ...n i TOLD U..its bout 5 hrs including lunch... n even if i didnt tell u... cutting off at 1pm is not too much right? shall we wait for u till 3pm? why wanna take YOUR OWN SWEET TIME to have a DAY TRIP AROUND PERTH!!!!! i was super frustrated when i was being QUESTIONED!!! but oh well...i dont want to let these minor things spoilt my day... i'm still quite happy for the event to be succeded...thanks to all who have put in effort...n really wanna thank the Lord for keeping everyone safe.. phew... **a little secret... i actually chose my favourite colour for the napkin without consulting the team..hehehhe then i realise nobody actually take note..which is good...cuz it doesnt really match the outdoor setting like this.. but oh well...i love the soviets today.... =>**that's pretty much my latest updates i think...mmm...will be leaving in 26 days time...not overly excited...but really wanna see my parents n grandma... miss them heaps...mmmm..having headache n a bit of sunburn..i think i'm dehydrated... today someone told me to rest more n must take care of myself... because i'm 25 already... -_-"..i do understand... n appreciate it...assuming that the person mean well...but i guess i function in a different way... i feel good n energetic when i'm occupied even with a bit of stress...that makes me feel meaningful in my life..that's y i never like to stay home during weekends...i feel that's a waste of time to just stay home n do nothing... n i know myself... if i'm too bored...i'll began to think too much..being a pessimistic person...its not good to allow myself to think too much... n also.. i think i feel young when i'm living my life to the fullness... i keep reminding myself... even when i'm now working or one day i get married... i'm not going to be the type... oh...mmm... after working...i need lotsa rest...no more coffee session during weekdays...keep my weekends to myself... or..after married...my family is my whole world...nop nop nop... life is definitely more than you n yourself n your family... there's so much more that u can do...its a matter of whether u r willing to do it...sometimes u might have to sacrifice a bit... but from my experience...its always worth it... i think i learnt this even better after started volunteering in LLC...well..ya...upcoming will be a pretty quiet period...but ya...kinda stress at work without catherine around..but ya...am going to cope with it n overcome it...hehheh..i think i'm a bit crazy...i actually feel quite good when i have to work overtime n feeling stress... maybe have been kinda slack all the while...it kinda shows that ...emmm...ya...a bit inefficient...but i'm doing more in a way...without being sheltered by catherine.. i'm now on my own... just gonna learn n grow...=) besides work... will be waiting patiently till the day to go home...but am excited for shan n mun hing to come...waited for so so long...the PROMISE finally is coming to past...i think i wrote too much today...hehhehe... telling everything happening outside...what's going on inside is a bit mysterious... *~*...muahahha... shall let the ALMIGHTY deal with it...now needa rest... my headache is getting worse...
Searching @ 9:45 PM*
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
***生日快乐***
Searching @ 12:30 AM*
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
1.50am 。。刚回到家mei yan 走了刚把她送上飞机了看着她的离去一股莫名的悲哀涌上心头一股寂寞的感觉油然而生闷闷地。。。 又少了一个合得来的知己zion 又少了一张熟悉的脸庞了离去。。 离去。。 离去。。。我呢？？
Searching @ 1:58 AM*
Sunday, November 06, 2005
1.32am....in front of my study table....mmmm...physically very tired lately...stress over studies...4 more days to my exam...geeeeeebut somehow...i'm a bit strange though...dont feel like sleeping lately...i'll keep going...study...watch tv till i literally fell asleep with everything still on ...cpmputer...books...i dont know why...just dont wanna go to sleep...strange ya...i actually love sleeping though...emmmm...developing all this kind of strange habits...n because of lacking of beauty sleep....got my eyes all puffed up...n 2 big eye bags dangling... skin super dry...mmmm...witchy look....
doing some count down here:2 days from mei yan's leaving- gonna miss her a lot, a friend that we never really share any heart to heart talk...but she's one of my best mate in perth... sharing all kind of common interest & laughter... with her around you'll never get bored... and she's always open to tell you all her stories... a lovely person... without her around... i'll have to struggle to find other ways to kill my time for my weekends... love u sis4 days to my CPA FR exam-super duper regret choosing this subject... its so much harder than taxation.... i jsut hate doing DTA, DTL n consolidation... n the worse thing is... i'm not motivated to study at all... n oh...feel a bit sorry to abby...cuz she decided to take this subject because i insist that i wanna take it...thinking that it's gonna be useful to our work...now both struggling together...sorry abby...9 days to my 25th birthday- i'm not excited bout it at all...not to mention that i'm reaching the quarter of the century...but simply because everything has changed... for the past 8 years... i always look forward to this date...because this is the day that i can be really manja to the max...cuz i know someone is gonna treat me like a princess on this day... n even if everyone else forgets or too busy (my bday is always during exam period since primary school -_-)...but i know someone will not forget...n this one person always mean a whole world to me...with his presence... is more than enough... not that i dont appreciate what other friends did for me... i'll be overwhelmed if they do remember... but even if they dont...i'm always happy n contented just being accompanied by one... this year... =) oh well...i'm quite sure some will remember... n i dont mind if the rest dont... it doesnt matter to me much... cuz i think..this day would be one of the kinda painful day to get pass...so would be good to keep it low profile i guess.... =)20 days to amazing race- involved in another church event...am kinda happy to be used...yet...mmmm... a bit half-hearted... maybe too stress over exam...**Father, please grant me the excitement n passion over the event**48 days to fly back home- not that excited as well...going back to a familar land... but yet people has chnaged... environment has changed... i cant wait to see my parents... cant wait to do my shopping...but other than those... mmmm...really nothing much to look forward to...that's why i kept asking my parents to go travel when i go back end of the year... cuz i think kl has too many memories... used to be for one person...but because of end of last yr...it added another...this time round...mmmmm... so ya... not that excited...somemore the worse is to leave su, jay n venus behind... lagi no mood...**side note a bit...kinda miss mars... a darling that went to a foreign land...being called monty...staying with a cat...-_- what is the owner thinking lor**mmmm...ya...i think i'm really tired already...that's y not excited bout anything....
mmmm...its 1.55am now...tmw got church then bbq then amazing race meeting...gonna be jam packed...but again...i dont feel like sleeping...mmm...gonna watch vcd now...
Searching @ 2:56 AM*
Thursday, November 03, 2005
1.15pm...in my officee~~~its been a while since i last penning down my thoughts in this blog...for some reason...only vero knows why ;Þalso for another reason...maybe i'm in a bit of denial...i realise that my blog is too sad .... way too sad..whenever i read back my previous postings.... i got sadden by my own words... n i know during the past month...every words that come out from me is gonna be grey...n i realise...the more i emphasize on it... the more attention i give into it... (u know...u have to write something good by putting in lots of emotions n feelings) ... the more i'll dwell in the sorrow..the pain... so i'm kinda back off...not wanting to open my blog...not wanting to write a word here... but actually...i was still writing a lot... i bring a note pad with me everywhere i go...pen down every thoughts that hit me...mostly on the bus... n i do my QT by writing my journals as well...write ..n write ...n write...cool ya...or stupid...i dont know... but just thought that...i dont wanna miss this moment in life just like that...eventhough is all kind of lousy feelings but every single word that i write...i direct them to God...i've never feel so close to Him before...as if He's my all time listener (He is actually)... feel comforted n secured though...something to be noted... i finally pray the prayer of breaking the soul tie between me n him... (never expect him to reply in such a dodgy way) it hurts...but i think its a good pain... its so painful that...to the point i was telling myself...i really dont wanna go through this kind of pain anymore... that i really just want to let go n dont want to look back... then besides all the sweet moments...i started remembering the bad ones as well...how we speed our cars down freeway n have this major quarrel middle of the night at the centre of freeway... (its at the centre lane lor -_- thank God we still survive)... how we fight over n over again... how we disagree in all ways...i think when i start to remember all these painful moments... its really an assurance as to why do we need to end our relationship...**no peace man**well...saying all these doesnt mean i've move on or let go (how i wish)...but just wanna remind myself...that its over...n its good for it to be over... we can still remember our past yet at the same time needa look forward to the future....not easy...in fact its super hard (especially when we meet each other almost everyday...sienz....God...u having fun ya ?!?!?! ) but oh well... i'm a bit used to the pain now...starting to feel numb...mmmm..... all i want to do now...is to get my study done... cuz even if i dont have any good partner in life ... but at least i wanna excel in my studies... from UWA mah...=Þ
Searching @ 1:50 PM*
